Writer's Block: A Mary Sue Intervention
by StarKitty
Summary: What's a fanfic author to do when her main characters go on strike? Negotiate, of course... and who better to do that than that absolutely perfect self-idealisation known and loved(?) throughout the worlds of fandom as the one and only Mary Sue! First in


Disclaimer: (/me gets down on my knees and salaams the all powerful viacom, paramount, dc comics, december 3rd productions and warner brothers) For verily it is written that they have the power and the rights (to all but the plot, such as it is! and Mary Sue and Maggie--they're mine! Do you hear? All mine! Products of my deranged imagination! hahahahahahahaha!)  
  
Ahem. Enjoy the story! (echoes of evil laughter!)  
  
  
Writer's Block: A Mary Sue Intervention  
  
  
The only thing we can do is strike!" Lois Lane said. She was   
seated on the couch beside her husband, Clark Kent. Both she and   
her husband were dressed casually, as though for a day off.  
  
Clark slipped his arm around her shoulders. "I agree. But this has   
to be unanimous or it won't work."  
  
He shot a look at the others in Perry White's office. Jimmy Olsen,   
clad in his usual jeans and T-shirt, leaned against the Chief's   
desk. Perry himself was seated in the chair behind the desk,   
wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. Kathryn Janeway, the last   
person in the group, wearing her usual StarFleet uniform, stood at   
the window, observing the street below.  
  
Perry leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk. "You   
don't see me going anywhere, do you, son? I'm with you all the way   
on this one!"  
  
"Yeah! We don't have to put up with this kind of treatment any   
more!" Jimmy chimed in.  
  
"I don't know," Kathryn turned to face them. "Will a strike do us   
any good? My crew is living on mushrooms right now. Do you have   
any idea of what kind of torture that is? If we strike, the Author   
might give us some more problems. I don't think my crew can take   
it!"  
  
"That's why we have to strike now, Kathryn!" Lois leaned forward   
to emphasise her point. "If we don't let the story go any farther   
forward, the Author'll have to negotiate! After all, the story is   
nothing without us! Are you with us, Kathryn?"  
  
Kathryn nodded decisively. "I'm with you!"  
  
A humming whine sounded and a sixth person materialised in the   
room. She was tall and slender, with the best figure anyone in the   
room had seen outside of a comic book. Her long, reddish-blonde   
hair was curled, and framed her delicately beautiful features. Her   
emerald green form-fitted floor-length formal gown matched her eye   
colour perfectly. Something about her seemed incredibly familiar -  
- as though all of them had seen her somewhere before.  
  
"Who are *you*?" Lois demanded, never one to let unexpected   
arrivals put her off-guard.  
  
"I'm the negotiator," the woman said. "You can call me Mary Sue."  
  
"Mary Sue?" Jimmy said. His expression brightened as he looked her   
over. "Aren't you the one who--"  
  
"Visits various story-worlds, out-does the real characters and   
steals the leading guy from the leading gal, and is actually a   
representation of the Author as she wishes she was?" Mary Sue   
smiled charmingly. "Yes, that would be me."  
  
The door to the office opened to admit Maggie. She was dressed in   
sweats and was running her fingers through her slightly damp hair   
as she came in. "Sorry I'm late for the meeting, guys. I was held   
up by a pile-up on the... hey! What are you doing here?"  
  
Mary Sue smiled brightly at Maggie. "Hiya, Mags! You know, you   
were almost me!"  
  
"Get away from Jimmy!" If looks could kill, Mary Sue would have   
been dust. "He's mine!"  
  
"All right, all right!" Mary Sue held her hands up in the air.   
"I'm not here for that this time, anyway."  
  
"Then why *are* you here, Mary Sue?"  
  
"Better sit down, honey," Perry advised. "She's here as an   
emissary from the Author. She wants to negotiate with us."  
  
"Really?" Maggie flashed Mary Sue a distrustful look, then gave   
Perry a smile before she went over to Jimmy and sat on the desk   
beside him. "Oh, good! Maybe our demands will finally be   
answered!"  
  
"Okay, Mary Sue," Lois brought the woman's attention back to her.   
"Here are our demands: we want--"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know!" Mary Sue snapped her fingers, and a   
PADD that looked suspiciously like the ones from Voyager appeared   
in her hand. She scrolled down through the list. "Mmm-hmm, mmm-  
hmm... better hours... yeah; more chocolate... uh-huh; a nice   
uninterrupted shore leave on a nice planet -- that's do-able..."  
  
Clark and Lois exchanged a hopeful look as Mary Sue went down the   
list. Finally, she looked up. "Okay, most of these don't pose any   
problems. What kind of guarantee are you willing to give the   
Author that you'll resume work right away?"  
  
"Will you take my word for it?" Clark asked.  
  
Mary Sue smiled and looked Clark over thoroughly. "Of course,   
gorgeous! Everyone knows Superhunk-- I mean, Super*man* doesn't   
lie!"  
  
Clark blushed a little under the frank scrutiny while Lois   
bristled. "If our demands are met, we'll get back to work   
immediately."  
  
"Hmmm..." Mary Sue looked at the list of demands again. "Well, the   
Author already has plans that meet some of these." She looked back   
up at Lois and Clark. "Tsk, tsk, tsk! You know she doesn't write   
Nfic!"  
  
"Well, she can *try!*" Lois glared at Mary Sue. "Clark and I need   
some serious quality time here!"  
  
Mary Sue sighed prettily. "Well, she'll see what she can do. Are   
you happy, now?"  
  
"I think that about does it, Miss," Perry said.  
  
"Good." The PADD vanished. "She'll start in on some of these   
immediately. Some of the others may take a little time, though,   
okay?"  
  
"All right!" Lois grinned in triumph. "That was easier than I   
thought it would be!"  
  
"Well, when you're happy, the Author's happy." Mary Sue flashed   
her girl-next-door smile at them and vanished in a flash of white   
light.  
  
Lois put one hand on the back of Clark's head and pulled his face   
down for a long passionate kiss. The others tried to pretend they   
weren't there.  
  
Kathryn grinned. "I have to get back to Voyager and let my crew   
know the good news!"  
  
Perry stood and took her hand and kissed it. "Good luck, Kathy."  
  
"Thanks, Perry. You too." She flashed him a grin, then tapped her   
commbadge. "Janeway to Voyager. One to beam up. Energise." She   
shimmered and vanished.  
  
"Okay, kids, back to your places!" Perry ushered them out of his   
office, breaking up Lois and Clark's kiss, which had been showing   
signs of becoming much more than just a kiss. "Writer's block is   
over for now! We may have to do this again, but for now, have fun,   
and good luck!"  
  
The End (or is that Re-Start? g)  
  
  
  
Part two of the Threads Companion stories is Offending Maggie.  



End file.
